Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
