12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
