his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
