just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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