Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
