there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
