I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
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