Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
