were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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