oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
