I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
