she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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