I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
