When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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