I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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