Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
