Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize