Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
