I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
sex in a hospital.. check
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
