I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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