and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
