sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
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My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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