i think my mom watched the whole time
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
