I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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