are you still at the devil's house?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
