I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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