he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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