Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
