..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
