You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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