AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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