her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
