It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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