Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
