hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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