I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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