I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
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