the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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