i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
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The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just shit out all my problems.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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