She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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