Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize