Umm I'm too high to move.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
home. puking in laundry basket.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
