Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
