As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
