90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
