Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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