You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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