Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
where am i from again
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
