thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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