You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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