At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
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I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
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I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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