I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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