I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
