Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
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