Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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