Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
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