It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
