whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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