If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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