I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
