I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
