I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
